Winning Matters

In our culture, there is far too much emphasis placed on the virtue of failure. Sure, failure can be valuable if you can ascertain the exact reason for failure and learn from it, but the truth is that we don’t always know why we fail and there are often many causes for failure. Sometimes it is impossible to determine exactly all the reasons why we failed. If you believe you failed because of X, but in reality, you have failed because of X, Y and Z, you will not have truly learned anything and the failure will be a tragedy. That’s what I believe every failure really is–a minor tragedy that should be avoided if possible. Furthermore, I think the biggest cause of failure is not doing the very best we can at the tasks we are charged with. In other words, not performing your very best at whatever job you have is the biggest cause of failure, disappointment and unhappiness.

Many claim they have lousy jobs that don’t deserve their highest level of effort. So what? If you have a lousy job, do the very best you can at it. That is your fastest way to get out of the job and into a better position. The disease that pervades every single business is the mindset that “What I do doesn’t really matter, so I’m not going to try.” This type of thinking leads to an unhappy workplace because it is so contagious. I have been guilty of it myself. It leads to a destruction of the culture and a slowdown of progress in the business as well as a slowdown in personal growth of the employees of the business. Of course what you do matters! Otherwise, there would be no reason for your job to exist. If you are unhappy with what the job has become, try doing even better at it and see what happens to your level of happiness. I strongly believe that mastery leads to happiness. If you do something well, anything at all, your level of pride and confidence will increase and will result in being happier than if you were to do poorly or not try at all. We all have an innate desire to do well at something in life.

Of course this all seems basic, but the basics are worth repeating. The number one reason to do well is because it leads to happiness. If you do well in a sport, on a test or at work, you’ll likely be much happier than if you do poorly. This happiness, just like sadness or negativity, is also contagious. Energy flows to whatever you focus on, and those around you will emulate your mental attitude and how you carry yourself. This is another, and perhaps the most important, reason to do well–it will lead to a happier workplace. Winning (doing well) is important. People want to be a part of a winning team. The best players in the world want to be around other great players. Winners are attracted to success. Failures are attracted to more failure, because they don’t have to try as hard. They are off the hook from responsibility. Failure is the easy road and it becomes addictive. In fact, both success and failure is addictive, but it’s better to be addicted to success so that you are trying constantly to do well and grow.

There is a term, “feed the beast.” It means, essentially, that you should focus on what you are exceptional at doing so your level of happiness and confidence is high, while you work on correcting areas where you are lacking. Whenever you are feeling down, “feed the beast.” Remember what you’re good at to get the confidence and vitality you need to succeed back into your life. A simple shift of focus–to working hard instead of taking it easy, to things that you are great at instead of what you are lousy at, to what makes you feel incredible instead of what makes you sad–will lead to incredible results. Winning (which is doing the very best you can) is important. The first step to winning is action. Taking action by doing the very best you can will not only lead to eventual success, it will create happiness in yourself and the workplace. Do well, and those around you will also start to do well. Hard work is infectious, as long as it is part of the expectation and the culture of the workplace. So, find a place where people like to work hard and then begin to do the very best to master the job. Mastery leads to happiness and fulfillment.

In health,

Sean

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The Magic Formula

There is one concept, one idea available to anyone that almost guarantees someone to achieve what they want in life. It sounds ridiculous. It sounds impossible. It sounds like a scam or get rich quick scheme, but countless men and women have used this formula knowingly or unknowingly to achieve incredible success. This concept is the very basis of almost every self-improvement book and so much has been written about this topic that I hardly feel I have anything to add to the discussion. I will however, for the sake of those who have not come across this idea, present a brief overview of the Master Key system. It is simply this: Be, Do, Have. Just three words can, if you act upon them, transform your life forever. Here’s how:

BE-

If you want to become a certain person, whatever it is: a nice person, a rich person, a smarter person, or a bodybuilder, you must first believe you already are that person. Possession begins in the mind. You must state over and over again that you are rich, nice, strong, whatever it is because your mind must believe that you are capable of being that type of person. Saying, “I hope I’m rich one day” will do nothing. Instead, “I am a rich person.” This has nothing to do with deluding yourself or tricking your brain. It has everything to do with convincing yourself that you are capable of being such a person so that…

DO-

Once you’ve established what kind of person you want to be, and the mind believes it, you can now do what that type of person would do. If you wish to be rich, think about what a rich person would do. How do they act to acquire wealth? What investments or careers do they have? Now you can see that first you have to figure out what you want to be, and then you will realize what to do which will lead you to…

HAVE-

Once you have decided who you are and what actions to take, now you may begin to have what you want. You cannot have what you desire until you take the correct action to acquire it, and that cannot be done until you decide what type of person you want to be. If you act first without establishing who you want to BE, you may find yourself toiling away at the same jobs for years or even decades without ever achieving your desires.

I cannot stress enough how important the order of this formula is. Thinking about and deciding upon the person you want to be is vital. That will give you the answer as to what actions to take so that you may have whatever you like. Let’s say you start out by saying you want big muscles. Okay fine. That doesn’t tell us anything about what you need to do or who exactly you want to become. “I am a bodybuilder,” you say. Very good. What does a bodybuilder do everyday? See, now you have an action plan, a set of habits and behaviors to follow that will lead to you becoming a bodybuilder. After that, you will have big muscles. What about money? “I want money!” you say. Fine—go rob a bank! They have money. See, this is why you must first decide what you want to be. If you’re a bank robber, you may have money but not for long. If you decide to be an entrepreneur or investor, on the other hand, you will now have a roadmap to follow so that you can achieve financial wealth and help others along the way.

So there it is. The Master Key to getting anything you want. Believe it or disregard it, the choice is yours. All I’m trying to do is present it to you here. It has worked for me, but let me warn you, we live in a universe where sometimes the best don’t win, tragedy befalls good people, and a hailstorm can wipe out your entire crop. That’s just the way things are. So, I would remind you that in order to truly BE anyone, you must also have perseverance and the desire to keep pressing on until you are who you want to be and have what you want to have. Most don’t. Most people quit after a few defeats. BE. DO. HAVE. And remember to keep moving forward until you actually are the person you want to be. At that point, you won’t need to remind yourself who you are and you won’t have to tell other people. Your actions and all you’ve achieved will speak volumes.

50 Reasons To Be Proud

50 Things I Am Proud Of

Sometimes when you are battling with negative thoughts and problems in your life, it helps to remember all that you have accomplished and all the obstacles you have actually overcome. I’m making this list to remind myself of what I can do when I put my mind and body into action. I suggest that you take the time to do the same. You may just find that you are actually quite amazing if you would just see clearly. So here we go, 50 things I’m proud of.
I’m proud that:
1. I found and incredible woman to be my partner in life.
2. I have always been curious to found out what makes others successful.
3. I have learned a great deal and taken massive action towards reaching my goals.
4. I graduated college without debt.
5. My wife never stops trying in our relationship or business.
6. My children are so smart and well liked.
7. I have made incredible friends.
8.I became a professional athlete with the help of friends and family.
9.I was instilled with a sickening work ethic from my father.
10.My father made me write an essay ever day.
11. I have been able to read over 25 books a year for the last 5 years.
12. My wife and I have been able to travel and experience so much.
13. I have successful businesses that have made me a great deal of money.
14. I have been able to utilize reason and philosophy instead of drugs to get through problems.
15. My immediate family is very close.
16. I have been able to avoid medications for my autoimmune disease without side effects.
17. I’m still so in love with my beautiful wife.
18. My wife and rarely have disagreements or fights.
19. My family has multiple sources of income
20. I’ve made good investments decisions.
21. I’ve had the courage to try new things and learn from my mistakes.
22. My parents have stayed married longer than most couples do.
23. I have turned weak body parts into strong ones.
24. My kids are so loving and kind.
25. My wife and I have started our own traditions.
26.My wife has become an incredible athlete.
27. I have been able to build a company that people see as valuable.
28. I never let my mind focus on what I could not do.
29. I’ve been determined in various areas of my life and achieved what I set out to do.
30. My family comes together to help others.
31. I have been able to train myself to learn new skills and use those skills in the marketplace.
32. I have not let my genetics or disabilities hold me back from doing what I want.
33. I have a wife who makes me want to be a better man.
34. I have a relationship with more passion after 13 years than when it started.
35. I achieved millionaire status by age 25.
36. I’ve lived an incredible life.
37. My kids love learning and being creative.
38. I have surrounded myself with people who want me to do well.
39. My family is always willing to help others.
40. I have not been jaded about humanity despite seeing evil in others and myself.
41. Despite not liking school, I graduated college on the honor roll.
42. My sisters found good men to share their lives with.
43. My friends are all successful in many areas of their lives.
44. I have made an impact of others lives through sharing my knowledge.
45. I have been able to expand my businesses from one to many.
46. I have written extensively on various subjects.
47. I have been able to clear my mind from stress and anxiety with reason and philosophy.
48. I have read and studied history a great deal and have been able to apply its lessons.
49. I have free time to spend with those I love.
50. I have people who love me in my life.

What are you proud of? Let me know.

Sean

Finding a Great Partner part 2.

Finding a Great Partner…. Part 2.

What follows may seem like a love note to my wife. It is. Bear with me….

I’ve written about the importance of harmony in human relations and building a mastermind group in your own life. I’ve also written about having a partner dedicated to realizing your goals as well as their own. This is vital in the gym. Having someone to watch over you, care about you and push you past your own perceived limits will create a huge level of progress for you. The problem of course is finding someone who you harmonize with most of the time as well as having your best interest at heart at all times. It’s easy to make acquaintances. It’s hard to develop real relationships that last and make both parties stronger. If you’ve read Finding a Great Partner part 1, you know that my wife Holly has been my partner in life through marriage and raising a family but also in the weight room. She helps to motivate me to do better than I would do on my own. Because she’s watching, I push harder.

I’ve achieved pro bodybuilder status because I found a great partner, who also led me to finding other great people to surround ourselves with so that we could grow. Indeed, my wife is so special it’s beyond words. She’s not just special because she’s a great wife and mother, she literally makes everything just a little more special. She will go out of her way to make a decoration for a cake because the detail will bring a smile to someones’ face. She will send flowers to her grandparents on their birthday across the country every year. As I write this, I’m reading through a book she created of our family vacation just two weeks ago. The trip was already special, but this book is like the icing on the cake. Now whenever I see it, I will experience the emotions I had on the trip along with the gratitude for having a wife that cares about going above and beyond.

Many think they have someone special in their lives. Here’s how I know; regardless of how long we have been together or where we are in our lives as far as business and parenting, Holly never stops trying a little harder than she did before. She is always looking for ways to make others feel special. She’s the best partner I could ever ask for. I sincerely wish for everyone reading this, that you find someone to partner with in different aspects of your life so that you may grow in those areas. I’ve grown in business because of my wife. I’ve grown in bodybuilding because of my wife. I’ve developed a philosophy on life because of my wife. Most of the times I’m smiling, it’s because I’m thinking about her and how great of a partner she is. I try harder daily because I don’t want to disappoint her. That’s the truth.

So go out and find that partner that loves you AND forces you to grow as a person.

In health,

Sean

FOCUS. DISTRACTION. PURPOSE.

As I write this blog post, it’s 5:20 am and I’m sitting here on a cruise ship, waiting for the gym to open. This is a My Little Pony themed ship mind you….it’s for my kids and during the day I’m surrounded by people with their families, friends and loved ones. It’s a beautiful sight for the most part. However, being a cruise, there are, of course copious amounts of alcohol being consumed and right smack dab in the middle of the ship is a Casino, for those who haven’t quite figured out how to waste ALL of their money yet. Don’t get me wrong, the beauty of the cruise far outweighs the negative images of drunk gamblers, but it’s fairly clear to see that many of these folks are drowning their desperation in alcohol, excess food and gambling. I can see this because they don’t even look happy while eating and drinking. This is normal for them. This cruise may be an attempt to escape their everyday life, but as the saying goes, “wherever you go, there you are.”

This leads me to a few concepts that I have come across on the nature of fulfillment and success that have stuck with me over the years. Success is fairly easy because it leaves clues. Millionaires and billionaires are common today. Their blueprints are there for anyone to look at should they wish to. What is less common is someone who is truly happy and walks around with a sense of fulfillment. Just look how many rich people consume drugs and alcohol to numb themselves from the problems of life that money cannot fix. The issue I think comes down to focus. The word focus, has been on my mind as of late. Over the last seven months I’ve become more focused- laser focused even, on achieving certain things in my life. But I have also tried to pay attention to exactly what I am focussing on, or what the story is that I’m telling myself about what is happening. Energy flows where focus goes. When I decided that I was focused on returning to the bodybuilding stage, I had to make sure I was focusing on the right things, the right people and the right lessons to achieve what I wanted. I had to sacrifice the distractions in my life. I stopped drinking completely. I gave up trying to help certain people because I was allowing my energy to be sucked away. My focus became a set of disciplines and that became strength. Mostly, I had to analyze what I was focusing on and whether or not I was focusing on my problems or my outcomes.

BE OUTCOME FOCUSED

I believe firmly that whatever you focus on you find. If you’re looking for problems with someone, you will find them. I also believe that most people focus on the things they DO NOT WANT rather than what their desired outcome is. If you are a problem focused individual, this may be a good example of the conversations in your head; “There’s never enough money. See, people can’t be trusted! I have to do everything myself. I never get what I want because I’m not special. I’ll never be rich. I can’t overcome this problem. I’ll never find someone to love. I deserve to be alone.” When these thoughts are running through your head, it’s important to remember that you are focussing on your problems rather than what you really want. I realize it’s easy to focus on the problems because life seems to be a series of obstacles that stand in the way of what we want. However, if that’s true, it would be just as easy to see problems as normal and not things that need to dominate your mind space.

IMPORTANCE OF FOCUS
When thinking about how important focus truly is, it would serve us well to remember that energy, if focused can do seemingly impossible things. A simple ray of light from the sun, if focused through a shot glass can produce extreme heat and fire. Think about this when looking to set fire to an endeavor in your life. Likewise, some of the best investors and businessmen in the world offer similar advice; the best investment you can make is to focus on on thing you’re good at, and put all your effort into that one thing. “Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket”, as Andrew Carnegie put it. Diversification is often overrated. Focus is more effective. Nothing is as powerful as concentrated human effort.

ELIMINATING DISTRACTION
As important as focussed effort is, it cannot occur without first identifying your purpose and desires and then subsequently eliminating all distractions that do not fall in line with achieving that purpose. A burning desire is fine, but if you are distracted by television, social media, gossip, the news, family that doesn’t support you, friends that are toxic…whatever the distraction is it must be eliminated. That sounds harsh, but I stand by those words. Focus and distraction cannot co-exist. My distractions were the news, drinking, eating out too often and finding fault with things and people that I had no control over. Refining my philosophy helped eliminate the distractions in my life.

So the steps here are: 1. Identify your chief desire or purpose in life.
2. Get so focussed on achieving that desire that the people you need in your life will be attracted to you and help you achieve it. (The point is not that you have to go the road alone, but rather the RIGHT PEOPLE will come into your life when you are focussed.)

PIG- HEADED DETERMINATION

One of the concepts that stuck with me from a great book, The Ultimate Sales Machine by Chet Holmes was that of Pig Headed determination. What he is really talking about is perseverance at all costs, but he highlights that others will see you as pig-headed when you set out on your journey. And….that’s okay! That’s what it takes sometimes to get what you really want. Note: this does not give anyone permission to be mean or violate the rights of others. Pig-headed determination simply implies that nothing or no one will deter you from arriving at your destination in life. No one can truly be successful without others, so being pig- headed does not in anyway imply that you should be abrasive or rude, rather it suggests never being distracted while finding harmony with others and working together to achieve your burning desire.

PURPOSE

This is the hardest concept for most people to nail down. The Stoics believe that our purpose is to live in accordance with nature. They also believed that our primary job as humans is to be “good people.” I agree with the latter more than the former. As humans, we have always defied nature. Although I understand that by referencing nature, the Stoics are suggesting that we don’t waste time on things outside our control– nature. While this is true, I would suggest that too many philosophies have taken nature to mean that we shouldn’t try to alter our environment and change our external circumstances. I couldn’t disagree more. Humans were never intended to fly, yet millions do in airplanes daily. The human desire to achieve more and defy nature and genetics is what makes us human. We get to choose. We don’t have to follow nature. If it’s cold, we don’t have to fly south. We can wear a coat and turn on the heater.

So the idea of purpose really comes down to answering three questions in my opinion:
What can you do exceptionally well, if not be among the best in the world at?
How can your work help others so that more may prosper from your existence in the world? (Fulfillment)
How much value can you offer others and how much do you demand from the marketplace for your services?
Once you have answered these questions, you have found your purpose. And here’s the thing; although your work may change throughout your life, the truth is your purpose is to do the work at hand the best you possibly can. That’s all. It’s not complicated. Do the work the best you can. If the work doesn’t suit you, change it. But, don’t blame the work for your lack of effort. If your job is to sweep the floor, do it the best you can. That’s your purpose in the moment.

I hope this helps anyone looking to hone in on an endeavor in life. My goal in writing all articles is as much to help others as to remind myself of truths I have discovered in my own life. In other words, I write to remind myself of my own advice as much as any other reason. So, in closing please remember.
-Focus on what your want and keep your mind off of what you don’t want.
-Identify and eliminate all distractions that are keeping you from achieving what you want. It may help to make a DO NOT DO list. Like, do not watch TV after 9pm, do not eat sugar….whatever you know is harming you.
-Ask questions to discover your purpose so that you may align yourself with a plan to achieve your desire.
-Never forget that the ultimate goal is to always grow and then give beyond yourself because fulfillment comes from growth and giving.

In health,

Sean

Be Future-Focused

Some scholars and philosophers suggest that paying too much attention to the future is what causes most of the stress and anxiety in humans. There are entire schools of thought that preach we must be “present”-focused to have a high quality of life. While I do agree that anxiety is giving too much importance on future events and that we should all be grateful for what we have and can enjoy in the present, I strongly disagree with these schools that say we must be focused solely on the present. I believe the lack of a compelling future is what causes most people anxiety and stress. In other words, worry comes from a lack of hope and not paying enough attention to the future. From my experience and the experience of many of my successful, happy friends and mentors, the biggest commonality between them is that they are constantly focused on the future. They are designing their life and taking massive action so that their future is brighter and more compelling than today.

This is not to say these fulfilled people are not grateful for what they currently have, they are. These people enjoy every moment of life. I know some people so enthusiastic and so animated that you can feel their energy permeating the space around them. These people are able to suck the marrow out of life because they are enjoying the present, but are always mindful and preparing for the future. This type of preparation takes an incredible amount of discipline. However, that discipline allows them to use the stress of the future to design and build an incredible life. Throughout history, those who have been incredible successful in any area of life—marriage, business, health, money—they all have understood the power of anticipation. If you are pulled towards future, mindful of what may be in store, you can prepare yourself and your loved ones.

Being future focused is like laying the concrete foundation for a building. Preparations must be made for the future building so that it can last. The engineers and builders are taking massive actions so that their creation will last throughout the years. Let me suggest to you this is like your life. You are the engineer and the builder. Prepare for the future; design a future life that is so compelling, you can’t help but smile. Then, take MORE action than necessary to ensure that what you design will come to fruition. Yes, be mindful and grateful towards the present, but be future-focused. After all, the present will be the past in a moment. Being focused on the future will give you the ultimate fulfillment.

Harmony=Success

“Success is the knowledge in with which to get whatever you want from life without violating the rights of others and by helping others to acquire it.” Napoleon Hill

Though it may be brief, this is likely one the most important blog post I will ever write. This realization came to me after pondering a series of questions over the last few weeks. Some of these questions were: What is the cause of the most tragedies and failures in the world? What leads to violence, stress and negative attitudes? Why do some couples stay together and stay happy while others break up? Why do some companies thrive and others fail? Why do some people love their job and others hate theirs? Why are some people able to create amazing things while others struggle with creativity? Why does the world still struggle with war?

The answer to all these questions is a lack of perfect f harmony between people. Throughout history, most of the problems we have experienced as humans can be traced back to a lack of harmony between people.   On the flip side of the coin, harmony is the reason for any major lasting success. Every enterprise, every country, government, marriage or other organization must face the reality that the determining factor in how long lasting and successful they will be is whether the people directly involved are working together in perfect harmony, or there is consistent discord between people. Harmony between people has led to every major success in history.

Once harmony exists in an organization or relationship, an alliance can be formed. No one can succeed on their own without the help of others. Alliances must be formed to achieve anything worthwhile. Every couple, every business, every nation must have a mastermind alliance. A mastermind alliance consists of two or more minds working actively together in perfect harmony toward a common definite objective. This is perhaps the most important ingredient in achievement. A star player cannot win a game on his efforts alone. An alliance between ALL team members must exist. If not, the team will crumble when problems arise… and problems will always arise. But those working together in a spirit of harmony will continue to thrive. If not, the problems will win.

What does it take to operate in a spirit of harmony? A change in consciousness must occur. A person must be consciously aware that harmony can exist if they seek it out. Moreover, a person must believe that when the energy created from harmony is focused into a mastermind alliance, no problem is unsolvable.   In my business, I demand that harmony exists between all associates and with customers. If a lack of harmony exists, the problems that will arise will not be solvable until there is a return to perfect harmony. Often this requires the person unwilling to be in harmony with others is removed. What the takeaway? You must be willing to be in harmony with others. A willingness must exist within every individual in an organization to act in harmony with everyone else. If that exists, anything is possible. Sound simple? It is. But simple is not always easy.

I believe that most people are, in fact, good. However, many people do not have the desire to be in harmony with those around them. They point out the flaws of others, gossip, and berate their fellow man. Humans inherently distrust others because most believe that their problems have been due to others. In reality, the lack of harmony between themselves and others is the cause of the problem. Humans need other humans. We are social creatures and we have dominated the earth and increased the standard of living because of alliances between people working in harmony. The number one cause of failure is lack of harmony between people. The number one cause of success is perfect harmony. The choice is yours.  I urge you all to choose harmony. Your life will be more fulfilling if you do.