Is Pain Controlling Your Life?

The Real Problem With Pain

This blog began as a way for me to discuss how to find freedom and happiness despite having adversity and struggles in life. My thought was that even though everyone encounters pain in their life, not everyone realizes that others share in similar experiences. We are all on the same journey in life because we have been programmed genetically as humans to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. Of course, no one can completely avoid pain and often times we mistake discomfort for pain and addiction for pleasure. Therein lies the real problem with both pleasure and pain- it blinds us to reality in the moment.

Pain is especially insidious in its ability to distort clear thinking. When we experience pain, depending on the severity, we will look for and do almost anything to stop the pain. That’s not the problem. The problem is that pain itself is a symptom of something else and it’s often the case that while experiencing pain, we cannot correctly identify the source of the pain. You may have a chronic shoulder or hip pain and blame it on a past injury or the fact that you have been sitting too long during your workdays. However, the real problem underlying the pain could be that your movement patterns during physical exercise are causing stress on the joints and therefore muscular imbalances. Again, it’s exceedingly difficult to diagnose the cause of pain unless the pain has subsided to the point where we can engage in clear thinking again. Then, once the pain is gone, we often forget to research the cause of the pain, or we just get distracted by our daily lives the the endless cycle of pain continues.

Another common experience among people in pain is they find that their ability to be patient and empathetic towards others declines rapidly. We forget that pain is not unique to our human experience, but something shared by all. The worst is when people have arguments over who has more pain! Have you ever seen this? It’s like a competition for who has the most ailments and who has the most difficult life. It’s as if the need for significance compels us to bring up everything wrong in our lives with others.

It’s important to remember that nothing lasts forever, especially pain. No one should believe that because they are in pain, they will always be. Moreover, the pain you are experiencing may or may not have been caused by something you have done. It’s impossible to know for sure because the pain is keeping your from thinking accurately. Trying to diagnose the correct cause of the pain during the suffering of the pain is not the best course of action. Neither is it wise to engage in important conversations (especially with loved ones), business transactions or making important life decisions. Take it from someone with chronic pain, nearly every argument, blow up in temper, terrible decision or major mistake I have made is because my thinking has been obfuscated by physical or emotional pain. It would have done me well to acknowledge that I was in pain and was not thinking clearly before I took any action.

As human beings we can never escape our biological impulses to avoid pain and seek pleasure. However, we can as humans employ our ability to use reason in spite of the pain. All of us should acknowledge and accept that when we are in pain we are not thinking clearly. How do you know if you are thinking clearly? See( If we are not mindful that we are in pain, we will do something that leads to regret later on. I know, I know…. EASIER SAID THAN DONE, RIGHT? Nothing worth doing is easy. It’s worth at least reminding ourselves that we need to do the hard work when it comes to thinking clearly and acknowledge when we are being controlled by our pain.


In Health,





There’s an old saying, “It’s better to work smart than work hard.” I think that saying was invented by lazy people to justify not doing the hard work. The truth is, you need to work hard on the right things to get your desired outcome. That’s what working smart really means. It means getting out of your comfort zone and taking MORE ACTION than you think is necessary. Now, here’s the problem: most people underestimate the amount of work that is needed to reach a goal and they overestimate how hard they are actually working. I’ve seen this in the gym and in business. In fact, I’ve been guilty of this myself. I think all of us probably have an example in our lives where we didn’t take enough action to achieve what we wanted. Taking massive action isn’t easy, but it is necessary. Working on the right things is also necessary. But how do we know if we are working on the right things? I would suggest you ask yourself one question to determine if you are working on the right thing…

The question you need to ask yourself, the same question I ask of myself everyday, is, “what is my superpower?” Meaning, what is the thing that you do more effectively than anyone else in your family, company or team? For me, I’m the rainmaker. I make stuff happen. I do best when I’m strategizing and delegating out tasks for others. In other words, if my life was an expedition, there would be people clearing trees, making paths, gathering food and marching forward- I would be the one climbing the tallest tree to make sure we were headed the right direction. I try my best to determine where my company and family is headed and then I come up with the right strategy or tasks that need to occur to allow us to reach our destination. If I’ve done this effectively, I find myself very satisfied because I’m using my superpower to its potential. Anything else I find myself doing other than my superpower, I feel very depleted, tired, moody and unsatisfied. Even if I’m working very hard at other tasks that are not my superpower and I’ve done well at completing the tasks, I know that I still have not worked smart, only hard. Working hard is necessary, but it’s never enough.

This is why I believe billions of people are dissatisfied with where they are in life. Not only are they focussing on the wrong things, they are working on the wrong things because they are not working on the things that are in alignment with their goals. Don’t get me wrong, we all have things to do that we don’t like and may not be in direct alignment with our desires, but my point here is that we should not be spending most of our working life on the wrong things. My assertion is that most of us do. For example, in the gym, if your goal is to have a lean an muscular physique, but all you do is walk on the treadmill, you are working on the wrong things. If you are a CEO or owner of a company, but you are cleaning the toilets and vacuuming the floors, you are working on the wrong things. (This author is guilty as charged with this one!) If you are a parent and your goal is to raise bright, caring, empathetic children, but you fail to read to them nightly and just plop them in front of the television, you are working on the wrong things. If your goal is to earn more money, but you aren’t reading or taking classes to learn new skills so you can take on more responsibility and add value to the marketplace, you are working on the wrong things. (Hint: You don’t get paid for your time. You get paid for the value you bring to the market. That’s why certain people make 8 bucks an hour while others get paid millions a year.) To add value to the marketplace and others, you must work smart on the  right things. You must work hard and work smart. You must learn what your superpower is and embrace it and then cultivate it so you become even more effective.

If you are not where you want to be, it very well may be due to the following traps:
-you are not actually working hard at all
-you have not discovered your superpower
-you are working on the wrong things
-you have not written down your goals
-you don’t believe you are worthy of having more
-you have limiting beliefs about you and other people
-you have faced adversity and failed to learn a positive lesson from the experience
you have not been honest and mindful about when you have fallen into the traps listed above

Do any of the above apply? Be honest. I know I have been guilty of some of these. The key is that I’m mindful of when I fall into the trap and I take action to make sure I get back on the right path and focus on my superpower strengths rather than focussing on things that lead me off the path. Don’t lose sight of where you’re going! Taking massive action on the right things is the key to making sure you get where you want.

In Health,