Tag: Why

Your Life…Washed Away

On By seancovellIn business, fitness, PhilosophyLeave a comment

Are You Clear About What You’re Doing and Why?

“And so castles made of sand, fall into the sea… eventually.”- Jimi Hendrix

Much of the cause of anxiety in the world today has to do with what I would call people building the castles of their life on sand. In other words, people feverishly work, trying to gain something, earn something, accomplish some feat or beat out a competitor, but they are doing so misguidedly, for that person doesn’t has not yet built a solid foundation or set of reasons for WHY they need to be doing what they are doing. This person is like a rat running on a wheel–without an endgame or destination. The harder the rat works, the more life is drained from it, without ever truly accomplishing anything. You may be thinking that as humans, we are different and should not be likened to a rodent. I would suggest that we are not that dissimilar. The rodent has no long-term goals. Neither do most people. They both are focused too heavily on the near term. Both of them are building a life, a castle on sand.

While the comparison to the rat running on the wheel and the average person working away without a goal may seem harsh, my point is that too many people lack the strong enough reasons to know why they are doing what they are doing. The worst part is that many know it unconsciously. Stress, anxiety, fear, depression are all rooted in the belief that “I won’t be loved unless… Or, I won’t be enough unless…” fill in the blank. Clarity is what leads us to the fulfillment of our potential and therefore a fulfilling life. Perhaps understanding this will become clear through the following examples:

-The man or woman who works all day long trying to earn a living while ignoring the family he or she has a family at home is building a castle on sand that will crumble eventually. Why does he work so hard? “So he can provide for his family, of course”, you may say. To which I would say, “And then what?” Does he have a plan to escape the rat race?   Does the family wish him to work and be away so often? Perhaps they would much prefer him being present at home. Which begs the question, if the man or woman isn’t fulfilling the wishes of his family by grinding away at the millstone, why does he keep going without an endgame in mind? Should he keep working so hard when he is at risk of losing his family? The accumulation of wealth should only be done so that more free time is afforded to you. Acquiring money for its own sake without stronger reasons behind why you doing it is the equivalent of the rat running on the wheel. Working hard is a virtue but not without knowing why you are putting in the work.

-The person who desires material riches to impress others is building a castle made of sand. Let me be clear, the desire for material possessions and financial security is not a vice, if it is done for the right reasons (a strong enough foundation). Opulence can be used as a tool if it helps remind your ego that it can live in a world of abundance rather than scarcity. It’s important to know that one doesn’t have to struggle and can in fact thrive if desired. I have many “anchors” that I use to remind me to think larger and more clearly. I have one nice car. I have some fine watches. I have a couple nice suits– all of which serve to remind me that I can accomplish whatever I desire if I do it for the right reasons. But none of those possessions serve to “impress” others. The salesman who thinks that going into debt on fine clothes and cars will make him a better salesman is dead wrong, for he is acquiring possessions for the wrong reasons. Charisma and believing in your product makes for an incredible salesperson. Flashy clothes without the other only makes one untrustworthy, for the prospect will know his reasons for selling are shallow and the salesperson does not have the best interest of others in mind.

-The desire to become famous without worthy reasons as to why will only cause a lack of tranquility and a life of anxiety. It has become nearly impossible to wake up and go through the day without seeing a news story about a celebrity who overdosed on drugs, is in rehab, engaged in some scandal or acting in some inappropriate way in view of the public. You would think such stories of distressed lives would dissuade people from trying to become famous, but in our age of television, internet and social media, more people than ever are, I dare say obsessed with becoming a celebrity. The problem, as we have seen with the other examples, is that engaging or pursuing anything without strong enough reasons as to why you are doing it will result in stress, anxiety and fear. Humans were not meant to be famous, however, we were also not meant to fly or travel under the sea. The beautiful thing about being human is we get to decide what we want to do, but I would warn that you must figure out WHY first. Being famous is not a problem is your goal is to help and inspire millions of others. The only way to do that is to be well known. In fact, I would suggest that for most businesses and people obscurity is actually the enemy. A person or business should WANT to be well known, but only because they believe they can help others. Having solid reasons for doing something will keep you from building a life made of sand.

The only way to limit the anxiety and fear in your life is to have worthwhile goals and take massive actions towards reaching those goals. I believe if people know that they are working towards their goals, they will be fulfilling their potential as humans. Without this, the subconscious mind will serve up anxiety and fear as a warning that we are wasting our lives. However, just like happiness and fulfillment, fear and anxiety can be useful tools for us to discover our flaws and redirect our efforts. I love the following quote from Rollo May:

“But attempts to evade anxiety are not only doomed to failure. In running from anxiety you lose your most precious opportunities for the emergence of yourself, and for your education as s human being.” –Rollo May
If you are experiencing anxiety and fear on a regular basis, don’t let them destroy you, but also don’t run from these emotions. Embrace them, for your subconscious mind is trying to tell you something. Use them as an opportunity to examine where in your life you may be building castles of sand. For castles made of sand will surely fall into the sea, eventually.

 

-In health

Start With Why

On By seancovellIn Health and Wellness, PoliticsLeave a comment

I’m currently halfway into a fantastic book by Simon Sinek, Start With Why, and I must say that’s its very thought provoking. His basic premise is that while most individuals and companies focus on and advertise WHAT and HOW they do something, there exists a few truly revolutionary leaders that start with and advertise WHY they do what they do. Sinek argues that by going deeper and discovering why we do something first, we as individuals or companies are setting ourselves up for the type of success that delivers loyalty from many others. It also allows for a possible movement for changing the status quo, in the case of Apple, or how we travel, in the case of the Wright Brothers. Or, even how we see our fellow man, in the case of Martin Luther King Jr. All of those examples had very strong reasons for doing what they did. While there were others equally or more qualified to do what they did, because these people and companies started with WHY, they were able to enact real change in the world. All of this has led me to examine why I do what I do. The answers, “make money”, “provide for family”, “get more customers” come to mind. Yet as I go deeper, I realize that is not why I do what I do.

My reasons, and I believe all our reasons for why we do what we do are the major determining factor in whether we succeed or not. My WHY is that I want people to realize that their biggest problems, their biggest adversities in life can be their greatest allies. My WHY is that I want to change the way people think about the world in relation to themselves. My WHY is that I want everyone to be able to transform their health, philosophy and well being at their will. I believe that if you have strong enough reasons for WHY you are doing something, you will do whatever it takes to follow through. So what happens if we take and apply this logic to other areas in life?

If we begin with WHY, it’s easy to see why so many people fail in their diets or training. “I want a flat stomach” is not a strong reason. A better reason: “I want an abundance of energy and vitality so I can play with my kids, love my partner and deliver value for those around me.” A flat stomach is a by-product of the work. Starting with WHY, it’s easy to see why so many Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs and their marriages. “I’m going to be with this person because I’m comfortable with them” is not a strong enough reason to stay with someone. The same goes for a job. Humans understand when something doesn’t “feel” right. Our gut tells us that we are capable of more and that we should be aspiring to get it and inspiring others along the way. Yet most don’t start with WHY and as a result end up very unhappy and unsatisfied. We go through our days meeting some of our needs for certainty and connection, but are not getting what we desire because we are not starting with WHY (purpose and reasons).

What is your WHY? What are your reasons for wanting what you want or doing what you do? For results with your physical body and health, your reasons must go beyond looks. Looks fade and the pursuit to maintain them is done in vain. Strength is a better reason. If you train for strength, the look you want will more likely appear. The reverse is not true. For lasting success start with WHY. Sinek’s book is really a must read if you want to further understand how some leaders inspire others to take action and some fail. If you want to better understand yourself and how your brain works, pick up a copy of Start With Why. Don’t forget the highlighter as well. You’re 50% more likely to retain knowledge if you are physically involved in the material, not just reading or watching passively. In fact, don’t be passive about anything in life. Be active. Everyday.