Tag: negative

Dealing with Loss

On By seancovellIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Something Worth Considering

Much grief and despair that humans experience is due to some loss in our lives. We lose someone or something and we feel pain because of this. We become attached to certain relationships and possessions. When we lose what we are attached to, immense pain occurs. Pain is a natural part of life and there is no way to eliminate completely from our lives. However, I think that it’s worth considering that when it comes to loss, it would serve us well to remember that we don’t actually own anything in this life except our own body and mind, and even those can be taken from us. Therefore, becoming too attached to people and things is actually a cause for pain that can be reduced when we realize that everything we perceive that we have in life is actually on loan to us. Circumstances outside our control can take these things away at any time without warning. Indeed our very lives are just on loan to us by nature, the universe, God, whatever term you prefer. Like a car at the end of the lease, we will have to turn ourselves back in to the dealership.

Should we walk around dwelling on the fact that we truly own nothing in this life? I don’t believe that is the best way to live. Instead, I think that quietly recognizing the fact that we don’t really have control over anything except our own mind and actions can help us actually reduce the pain we feel when we lose something or someone. The Stoics referred to this practice as negative visualization—by contemplating the reality that we will eventually lose everything and everyone in our lives, we can prepare ourselves and reduce the sting of the loss when it occurs. The practice can also lead to a greater appreciation for the people and things in our lives. Because nothing lasts forever, we can learn to take nothing for granted and appreciate all we have just a little more. The pain of loss can also be lessened just by remembering that we were lucky to have been blessed with certain people and things in the first place. Eventually, we will lose everything, including our own existence, so we should actually learn to enjoy what we have a little more.

Again, nothing can ever stop the feelings of pain, nor the grief associated with loss. But we can learn to reduce that pain by practicing negative visualization. The real key to satisfaction is wanting and enjoying what you already have, not in yearning for something else. Remembering that everything is temporary, we can learn to enjoy our time living. Life is beautiful exactly because it is temporary. So treat people a little better, appreciate your relationships a little more, and enjoy material things without becoming too attached to any of them. Attachment leads to unnecessary pain because loss is inevitable. Enjoyment without attachment, that’s the simple formula for fulfillment. Just remember this, what is simple is not always easy!

In health,

Sean

Be Negative!

On By seancovellIn Uncategorized3 Comments

The Importance of Thinking Negative

 

Despite popular belief amongst my family, friends and employees, I am not a very positive person. Actually, I don’t believe in positive thinking–believing that everything will always work out because you want it to be a certain way. No, the truth is that you don’t get what you want in life. You get what you tolerate. You get your standards. Bad stuff happens all the time, even to good people. That’s the way of the universe. Don’t ask me why. I wasn’t included in the board meeting during the master plan to create this reality. I have a belief that nature is clueless and could care less about your desires. You operate in nature, not the other way around. Sure, you can alter nature slightly, using your mind and body to invent and create things that improve your standard of living, but I think it’s always best to be mindful of the reality of nature. Hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquake, fires, accidents– these are all a natural part of life. No amount of positive thinking is going to make all that go away.

So do we walk around moping all the time and murmuring about how hard life is? Absolutely not! Though I don’t believe in positive thinking, I do believe in accurate thinking–seeing things as they are, but not worse than what they are. For some odd reason, humans have the tendency to create stories about occurrences in everyday life that lead to the conclusion that all hell will break lose, or that no one will love us, or we will never be enough. Accurate thinking, or what the Stoics called Reason, is a tool unique to humans and we can use it to examine the world around us, and make choices that positively affect our lives. Conversely, only thinking about things in a positive way hinders us from being able to correctly identify obstacles and formulate plans to overcome them using reason. What I’m contending here is that seeing the downside to a plan, being able to negatively visualize an outcome is an incredible tool for preventing pain and can actually help you grow as a person. Moreover, not being blindsided by some negative event may allow you to maintain tranquility. I believe the ability to identify possible problems is a crucial part to survival.

Is the glass half full or half empty? This question missed the entire point. Reason would tell us that the glass is filled to half of its capacity. The glass is halfway filled up. This type of thinking is not new. In fact, it’s thousands of years old. The school of philosophy called Stoicism and it’s teachers spoke about using reason to control your emotions and maintain tranquility. Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius also suggested that we use negative visualization as not only a way to identify possible problems before hand, but also to better appreciate the things and people we have in our lives. Here, these philosophers argued that in addition to seeing things as they are, rather than how we’d like them to be, we should also envision the worst-case scenario on occasion. Why? Suppose that in your interactions with others, you envision that this is the last time you might see them because something terrible will happen to you or them. How will you treat them? Will you yell and roll your eyes at them like some of us do? What are the thoughts that will enter your head? Will they be thoughts of malice and hate? Or will they perhaps be thoughts of regret? Regret that you didn’t make more of the time you had together.  What of your possessions?  By imagining you may lose them all, you may develop a better appreciation for what your already have rather than seeking pleasure in acquiring new things.

The point of this exercise is to remind us that eventually there will be a last time for something. Our time is limited and that what is makes it special. Pretending that every time you kiss your wife or kids is the last time may sound depressing, but let me suggest that engaging in this practice radically changes the way you act towards people. By constantly reminding ourselves that our lives are on loan to us and that everything we have will come to and end, we can become driven to do the things that really matter. Also, the way we act towards others will become more positive because few want our last memory of something to be negative-so we being to cherish the relationships that mean something to us even more. Thinking about the negative in this situation can actually cause us to become happier and more fulfilled.

In conclusion, being constantly cheery while ignoring problems is no way to go through life. Happiness is not necessarily our default emotion. Our brains were not designed to make us happy. They certainly can, but their primary purpose is to evaluate the world around us and help us identify obstacles and the solutions to them. Our brains are wired for survival, not necessarily joy. So, if you don’t wake up happy or walk around with a permanent smile, don’t worry. You’re not abnormal. Just be sure that you see things as they are but not worse than what they are. Walking into your garden and chanting “there’s no weeds” will not make the weeds go away. But by thinking “positively” and ignoring them, they might just grow right up over your feet. See things as they really are, not better than they are, not worse than they are. Once you know the reality, you can begin to improve it. And remember too, that we all fated with a death sentence. We all have very limited time. So spend it wisely!

 

In Health,

 

 

Sean

 

 

 

Blueprint for an Incredible Workplace and Business

On By seancovellIn Health and Wellness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

What follows are the notes I delivered to my staff. I think they are worth sharing and I’d like to give people some insight into my life as and entrepreneur and owner. If you can learn something as a staff member, manager or partner, I’ve done my job. For my clients, I’d like to even give you all a behind the scenes sneak peak of the philosophies that go into the business.

Fitness System meetings are anything but normal. I take pride in that. I don’t want there to be anything normal about us as a company. I want us to be remarkable. Incredible. Outstanding. Therefore, here are the notes from the last meeting. Follow these principles and we will all thrive and have an incredible workplace and life!

A. Outcome: It’s imperative that all associates know and work toward achieving their desired outcome every single day, every single shift. Outcome based work will yield immense results, while focusing on trivialities will destroy morale. (Example: Clean toilets = incredible environment. So cleaning the toilet is done with the outcome of providing an incredible experience.)

B. Focus: Most people focus on their problems and what is wrong. They focus on themselves and their own needs. I would suggest that focusing on how to deliver more value to others will give everyone a greater sense of accomplishment and well being.

C. Values and Adding Value: What are your values as a person? What is your personal philosophy? What are you doing to add value to others? WE DON’T GET PAID FOR OUR TIME. WE GET PAID FOR THE VALUE WE PROVIDE TO THE MARKETPLACE.

D. 3 Triads That Drive Everything in Life and Business:

1. Character, Positive Attitude and Willingness to Learn—These are the 3 traits of an excellent coworker

2. State Story and Strategy—The story you tell yourself about your job, your coworkers and your clients along with the physical state you bring to work and the strategies you employ will determine how successful and fulfilled you are.

3. Confidence Energy and Enthusiasm—All three are necessary to provide MAKE-YOU-HAPPY CUSTOMER SERVICE.

All of the above require all three parts of the triad to work. Without one, they are a two-legged stool. With all three triads working, you will be living in an incredible state and have and incredible work experience and life. You will also be adding incredible value to everyone around you.

E. Operating by the Golden Rule Principle: Who you are and what you do to provide the value to your coworkers, managers and customers that you wish they would reciprocate to you. “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” Don’t expect your co-workers to perform if you are not willing to step up for them.

F. What Destroys a Workplace: Negativity, Gossip, Focusing on Problems, Lack of Harmony, Lack of Discipline among ALL staff, AND ABOVE ALL—not getting enough leverage on yourself to make sure you do what you say you will do. In other words, what are the consequences for not achieving something? Those with massive leverage accomplish a great deal.

“The path of least resistance makes all rivers and most men crooked.” Most take the easy road. These choices lead to a lack of self-discipline that begins to destroy a person’s humanity.

Words to Know:

Entropy: a lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder. All businesses, relationships and people will naturally turn to disorder and chaos unless there is deliberate action to avoid it.

Habituation: the diminishing of a physiological or emotional response to a frequently repeated stimulus. Whatever we do repeatedly we get used to and we get bored or tired of. This is true for most people in a workplace, a relationship or even with something like driving a car. Habituation causes us to stop paying close attention to things and allow entropy to ensue.