Tag: fulfillment

Your Life…Washed Away

On By seancovellIn business, fitness, PhilosophyLeave a comment

Are You Clear About What You’re Doing and Why?

“And so castles made of sand, fall into the sea… eventually.”- Jimi Hendrix

Much of the cause of anxiety in the world today has to do with what I would call people building the castles of their life on sand. In other words, people feverishly work, trying to gain something, earn something, accomplish some feat or beat out a competitor, but they are doing so misguidedly, for that person doesn’t has not yet built a solid foundation or set of reasons for WHY they need to be doing what they are doing. This person is like a rat running on a wheel–without an endgame or destination. The harder the rat works, the more life is drained from it, without ever truly accomplishing anything. You may be thinking that as humans, we are different and should not be likened to a rodent. I would suggest that we are not that dissimilar. The rodent has no long-term goals. Neither do most people. They both are focused too heavily on the near term. Both of them are building a life, a castle on sand.

While the comparison to the rat running on the wheel and the average person working away without a goal may seem harsh, my point is that too many people lack the strong enough reasons to know why they are doing what they are doing. The worst part is that many know it unconsciously. Stress, anxiety, fear, depression are all rooted in the belief that “I won’t be loved unless… Or, I won’t be enough unless…” fill in the blank. Clarity is what leads us to the fulfillment of our potential and therefore a fulfilling life. Perhaps understanding this will become clear through the following examples:

-The man or woman who works all day long trying to earn a living while ignoring the family he or she has a family at home is building a castle on sand that will crumble eventually. Why does he work so hard? “So he can provide for his family, of course”, you may say. To which I would say, “And then what?” Does he have a plan to escape the rat race?   Does the family wish him to work and be away so often? Perhaps they would much prefer him being present at home. Which begs the question, if the man or woman isn’t fulfilling the wishes of his family by grinding away at the millstone, why does he keep going without an endgame in mind? Should he keep working so hard when he is at risk of losing his family? The accumulation of wealth should only be done so that more free time is afforded to you. Acquiring money for its own sake without stronger reasons behind why you doing it is the equivalent of the rat running on the wheel. Working hard is a virtue but not without knowing why you are putting in the work.

-The person who desires material riches to impress others is building a castle made of sand. Let me be clear, the desire for material possessions and financial security is not a vice, if it is done for the right reasons (a strong enough foundation). Opulence can be used as a tool if it helps remind your ego that it can live in a world of abundance rather than scarcity. It’s important to know that one doesn’t have to struggle and can in fact thrive if desired. I have many “anchors” that I use to remind me to think larger and more clearly. I have one nice car. I have some fine watches. I have a couple nice suits– all of which serve to remind me that I can accomplish whatever I desire if I do it for the right reasons. But none of those possessions serve to “impress” others. The salesman who thinks that going into debt on fine clothes and cars will make him a better salesman is dead wrong, for he is acquiring possessions for the wrong reasons. Charisma and believing in your product makes for an incredible salesperson. Flashy clothes without the other only makes one untrustworthy, for the prospect will know his reasons for selling are shallow and the salesperson does not have the best interest of others in mind.

-The desire to become famous without worthy reasons as to why will only cause a lack of tranquility and a life of anxiety. It has become nearly impossible to wake up and go through the day without seeing a news story about a celebrity who overdosed on drugs, is in rehab, engaged in some scandal or acting in some inappropriate way in view of the public. You would think such stories of distressed lives would dissuade people from trying to become famous, but in our age of television, internet and social media, more people than ever are, I dare say obsessed with becoming a celebrity. The problem, as we have seen with the other examples, is that engaging or pursuing anything without strong enough reasons as to why you are doing it will result in stress, anxiety and fear. Humans were not meant to be famous, however, we were also not meant to fly or travel under the sea. The beautiful thing about being human is we get to decide what we want to do, but I would warn that you must figure out WHY first. Being famous is not a problem is your goal is to help and inspire millions of others. The only way to do that is to be well known. In fact, I would suggest that for most businesses and people obscurity is actually the enemy. A person or business should WANT to be well known, but only because they believe they can help others. Having solid reasons for doing something will keep you from building a life made of sand.

The only way to limit the anxiety and fear in your life is to have worthwhile goals and take massive actions towards reaching those goals. I believe if people know that they are working towards their goals, they will be fulfilling their potential as humans. Without this, the subconscious mind will serve up anxiety and fear as a warning that we are wasting our lives. However, just like happiness and fulfillment, fear and anxiety can be useful tools for us to discover our flaws and redirect our efforts. I love the following quote from Rollo May:

“But attempts to evade anxiety are not only doomed to failure. In running from anxiety you lose your most precious opportunities for the emergence of yourself, and for your education as s human being.” –Rollo May
If you are experiencing anxiety and fear on a regular basis, don’t let them destroy you, but also don’t run from these emotions. Embrace them, for your subconscious mind is trying to tell you something. Use them as an opportunity to examine where in your life you may be building castles of sand. For castles made of sand will surely fall into the sea, eventually.

 

-In health

Focus on the Details!

On By seancovellIn business, Health and WellnessLeave a comment

Be Detail Oriented
We live in a world where the culture tells us to focus on the big picture. “Don’t get bogged down in the details”, they say. “Don’t let yourself be victim to analysis paralysis- take action now.” Sure, this stuff sounds nice and certainly there are people who overthink much of their lives and never reach a level of satisfaction they are happy with. However, I believe being detail oriented is vital to thriving in our culture today. Too much focus on only the big picture leaves out the fact that all pictures are made up of tiny little details. All paintings are comprised of hundreds of brush strokes. All photos are made up of thousands of pixels. See, it’s the details that make up the Big Picture that we are told to focus on. So, this year I would like you to resolve to pay attention to the details, because everything relies on them.
Another word for details, in my opinion, should be fundamentals. Another synonym would be foundations. If we begin to see details as fundamentals or foundations for building something bigger, our focus becomes doing the best we possible can in the here and now, so that our future can be great. We should all be focused on the future, but the best way to do so is to make the most of the here and now. To play full out everyday. There’s an old saying, “If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing right.” I love to tell my staff this because it’s another way of saying that details matter. It’s the details that customers are willing to pay for. All luxury brands, hotels, resorts, theme parks and auto manufacturers focus on the details. They know the importance of detailed work. When your car is thoroughly cleaned by a professional, it’s called getting it detailed. Often, the very beauty of something lies in the details. So while they may seem boring, stupid and monotonous, details matter. They matter a great deal.
It’s unfortunate being detail focused is not valued more in the culture. Products are brought to market with major flaws and lack of attention to detail just so they can be first. Students come out of school without being able to utilize the language, spelling and grammar needed to communicate. As an employer, I cannot begin to tell you how many applications I see with poor grammar, misspellings and run on sentences. If a prospective employee cannot pay enough attention to detail to proofread an application, what am I, as an employer supposed to deduce as to how much value they can bring to the organization? I see so many businesses start and then fail quickly because there wasn’t enough attention to detail in the operations, management and systems from the outset. In fact, I would argue that most failures in business and otherwise occur because of many different details that were overlooked. Often, the exact details that were overlooked are unknown, which is why failure is not a great teacher in my opinion. Someone could have failed for five different reasons, but they believe it is only one, so they try again and fail again. More attention to detail from the outset could have prevented it.
Focussing on the details is really just another way of preparing for success. Before we go on a trip, what do most of us do? We make a list of details- things we might need for the trip. Confirming reservations, calling ahead, packing the right things, packing enough snacks and water, brining the right shoes- all of these actions are detail focused and they are vital. Being detail focused also applies to physical health. I believe the worst health and training advice comes in the from of being Big Picture focused. “Only take in so many calories a day.” “Walk at least 10,000 steps daily.” “Be active for 30 minutes for four days a week for good health.” If you hear someone preaching this, run the other way quickly. Details matter! What types of foods and calories? How fast should I be walking? Should I only be walking? What does being active mean? Should I only do cardio? Should I lift weights? Should I eat carbs? Should I avoid fat? The details underlying the answers to these questions are what is going to get you in incredible shape and health. Generalities are not enough for you this year. From health, to wealth to wisdom, get focused on the details and you will begin to see incredible results. I promise.

In health,

Sean

Finding Balance

On By seancovellIn business, Health and Wellness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Finding Balance

What follows is a journal entry written to myself. If there is any value in it whatsoever for you, I’m grateful for that.

A fulfilling life is all about finding balance. So many of us live at the extremes of life, letting those emotions affect us negatively. Balance ensures mindfulness and control. Truly, the only thing we really have control over is our philosophy towards life, so let me suggest that you evaluate whether your personal philosophy contains balance in the extremes. Over-caution must be balanced with recklessness. Fear must be balanced with courage. Stress must be balanced out with contentment and joy. You must be determined to achieve something while also being mindful of why you do what you do. You must balance the desires and goals that drive you with gratitude and appreciation for what you already have. You must balance aggression with compassion. You must balance indifference with strong passions. You must balance strength with vulnerability. You must balance studying with teaching. You must balance good times with bad times.

You must balance the importance of what you are engaged in with the thought that “we are but a speck in the universe, spinning around and one day we will all be gone.” You must balance desires with restraint. You must balance the love you give unconditionally among all you love. You must balance earning with investing. Saving with spending. You must balance learning one side of an argument with the other (s). You must balance imposing your will with accepting others’ will. You must balance reading with writing. You must balance the idea that all lives are incredibly important with the idea that we are all fated with a death sentence. You must balance caring with not caring. You must balance giving with allowing yourself to receive. You must balance focusing on the future while remembering the past. You must balance what you know with what you don’t know. You must balance confidence with humility. You must balance the light with the dark. You must balance happiness with sadness. Sorrow and despair with hope, so that neither affect you adversely.

But, above all- you must balance emotion with reason.

Finding a Great Partner

On By seancovellIn business, Health and WellnessLeave a comment

The Importance of a Good Partner

            Humans are social creatures. We exist and persist for, and because of, each other. We frequent health clubs, bars, restaurants and movie theaters so that we may feed off of the energy of others. Being around others reminds us that we are alive. It’s the elixir of vitality—human connection. But while great benefits occur from being around others, the inevitable problems that arise from such encounters lead us to believe that on some things, “we must go it alone.” Let me suggest that instead of going it alone, you seek out a partner to take with you on your journey. I believe there is incredible power and fulfillment in having another person by your side for most undertakings. A special relationship with another person is incredibly beneficial when it comes to physical training. Let me explain…

As a health club owner, I’ve clocked thousands of workouts by myself. Some have been incredible, but most paled in comparison to when I was training with a partner. Two people dedicated to one common goal, expanding each others physical potential and establishing routines that revitalize the body, can accomplish much more than one person on their own. In my opinion, having a partner to push you, be honest with you, motivate you and help you overcome the pain of resistance in the gym (and in life) is so important to fulfilling your potential. I’ve had some incredible training partners in my life. My father was my first. We still train together when possible. My best friend Chris is another. Our mutual love for the iron began after a painful breakup. My ex’s best friend happened to be his girlfriend at the time. I walked out of the room after being dumped, Chris saw my face, and I said with an angry look, “Tomorrow we are doing squats together.” This was 11th grade. I squatted 315 pounds for reps out of sheer anger and adrenaline. A friendship was forged for life. We both own fitness companies today.

Currently, my training partner is my wife Holly. We have been together over 12 years, but it’s only been the last two years that we started working out with each other instead of doing our own routines. Like many women, she was intimidated by lifting heavy weights and preferred to “sweat it out” doing cardio. However, after our second child was born, Holly dedicated herself to not only getting her pre-baby body back, but surpassing it. I can tell you confidently, that after grueling workout sessions, heavy weight (315 pound deadlifts) and simple diet modifications, she has accomplished her goal. She’s been absolutely incredible through this process, pushing herself to new levels, but also pushing me to get stronger and more flexible. I have ankylosing spondylitis, leaving partial fusion throughout my whole spine. Despite that, with my partner’s help I have been able to move more freely and with less pain that anytime in the last 10 years. I attribute this to having a partner that has my best interest at heart. I suspect she attributes her successes to the same. She’s the best partner I’ve had in life and in the gym.

I believe strongly in the mastermind principle—where two or more like-minded people get together regularly and plan out future actions in the spirit of perfect harmony. It’s truly amazing what mankind has achieved through cooperation. More than that, I believe that true fulfillment comes through having a great partner in various aspects of life. A great partner can really help you to become better, give you compassion and understanding when needed and help you to overcome obstacles in the weight room and in life. My advice here is to look at the various areas of your life and see where a partner can really help you to grow and become more. Find someone you can be in harmony with and go deep. Gold and diamonds are found at great depths. The same is true with a partner. Their value comes from going deep with them. Commit to them and make sure they are committed to you and your goals. Find yourself a partner for life.

In health,

Sean

On Virtue

On By seancovellIn business, Health and Wellness, PoliticsLeave a comment

I’m going to talk about virtue in this essay… stick with me.

When’s the last time you heard the word virtue? Maybe you remember the term from philosophy class in high school or college? What do you think of when you hear the word? I bring up virtue, or moral excellence (high moral standards), because it’s something I think about often. It’s such an important ingredient to living a fulfilling life. Virtue is also needed when building a great family or relationship. I think virtue is even more important in building a lasting business that serves the marketplace. Something I ponder, the same question the ancient Greeks raised: “Can you live a successful life without being a virtuous person?” Our society’s current standard for what success is has virtue so far removed from it. I think we must move in a direction as a people that declares the only successful life is one lived with virtue. Ironically, if there is one value lacking in society today, it would be virtue.

I believe that businesses especially must return to the philosophy that virtue—incredibly high moral standards are the cornerstone of a successful, lasting business. Sure, anyone can make money off of other people by scamming them or selling them inferior products or services, but that kind of business will never last in a marketplace that values integrity and quality. The truth is that we all demand integrity and quality from others, and that is where most people truly fail. You must demand integrity from yourself. If you value morality in people, in the marketplace and in society, you must first demand it from yourself. You can never ask someone to have certain ideals that you yourself do not exhibit.

Likewise, as a business owner, I can never ask my employees to have virtue unless I first demand it from myself, and I do. I make it a discipline to reflect every night on whether I exhibited virtue throughout the day. Was I someone that other people could learn from and look up to? Did I lead my staff in a way that I would want them to lead others? Did I act in accordance with who I really am and who I want to be? Or, did I allow myself to slip? Being mindful of my successes and my shortcomings regarding virtue is something that allows me to grow as a person of character.

There can be no success without virtue. No relationship or business will last, business or otherwise if both parties do not have a high regard for integrity and moral standards. Every good person interested in the well being of themselves and others seeks to live in a world of harmony and goodness. So, a good place to start is by asking every day: “Who am I?” “What type of person was I today?” “Did I act in a way that others would see as virtuous?” “Am I proud of my actions as a leader, an employee, as a lover or a parent?” These questions, if reflected upon daily, can guide you to leading to a life of incredible integrity and fulfillment—a life of virtue.

Sean